the end of my life- Testimonies of Ex-Christians
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encouraging de-converting and former Christians
Personal de-conversion testimonials submitted to ExChristian.Net. The ExChristian.Net blog exists for the express purpose of encouraging those who have decided to leave religion behind. It is not an open challenge for Christians to avenge what they perceive as an offense against their religious beliefs. Over 1,100 testimonials are archived in this area. Testimonials are archived by month/year.

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the end of my life


Posted Wednesday, April 12, 2006. — View & Post Comments »
sent in by Onanite

Well ..... Things have come a long way since BIOLA. I posted a testimony here a few months ago. I knew I had cancer then, but did not mention it. Things have kind of gone downhill since then.

Today is a really bad day, lots of pain, even though I am on the best pain meds. Science can only do so much. I am still at home, where I want to be. I do not want to die in a hospital or hospice. My partner has agreed, he is wonderful.

I read this site everyday, I love it. My reality is that there is no God, maybe I will find out differently soon. I know one thing for sure, if there is a god, it has to be better than all I know about love.

You see, for me non-existence is like a deep sleep, nothing to fear. Just the end of all reality. There is no pain, there is just nothingness. Nothing to be afraid of.

I cannot say that I am not afraid of dying, I am. But I know that it could not be worse than what I feel right now.

Onanite

Beverly Hills
CA
USA
Joined: I was a youngster
Left: Late teens
Was: Christian and Misionary Alliance - BIOLA University
Now: Atheist
Converted because: Family
De-converted because: Reality

 

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