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Cured of the Christian Meme
.: posted Wednesday, March 16, 2005 ::: by .:webmaster:. ::: EmailThis! »

sent in by Shawn Koester

Conquering fear, dogmatism, irrationality and revealed religion is difficult for those of us who want to break free and make something meaningful of our lives. I know many of you are wondering how it’s possible to unshackle your chains and be liberated, to regain a sense of dignity, worth, and clear mind. What you are about to read is a story of pain, suffering, struggle, and coming to terms with ones true self. It all started in my earliest years in a Los Angeles suburb known as Rancho Cucamonga (a town of about 1 million or so citizens). Both my parents are and continue to be Evangelical Christians (who accept just about everything fundamentalists believe but are not zealous).

Every Sunday from as early I can remember I brainwashed into believing all that conservative Christianity offered from the “Virgin Birth”, the “trinity” and the “Great Commission” As I grew older, I became more skeptical and especially towards my Senior year of high school (I had questioned some of the time but kept the Christian “charade” to keep people appeased. After graduating high school, and a year and half of undergraduate studies at the two year college were completed (with coursework in Sociology and Western Philosophy completed), some things in Christianity were fishy and unsavory.

The first beliefs to go on the chopping block were the notions of Heaven and Hell. If Christian ministers, evangelists, and believers thought that God was omni-benevolent and created the human race with “Jesus”, the supposed son of God making an ultimate sacrifice for “sin” on the cross, why was there a need to condemn his own creation into a place of infinite suffering, for finite sins, by finite beings. Heaven was just as ridiculous because if heaven is thought to be a place of worship of “God” for eternity it must follow that if believers can’t handle an hour service what would make them think that they would want to be in service to God for an eternity.

In addition, if heaven is such a perfect place, why is free will stripped? Wouldn’t also be discomforting if a family ends up in heaven and finds that their relative or someone they knew was condemned to hell? Along those same lines, and with using my power of reason, I found no basis for belief in Christianity (its doctrines, creeds, dogmas, and the Bible) or the belief in God. “Free at last, free at last!” Finally, I was able to free myself from spiritual slavery and embrace free thought, a life driven by commitment to social justice, one that is motivated by good to others and making life better instead of being forced to do it by rewards and punishment.

It feels so good to be an individual and not have to be condemned or feel guilty. Now that stage one was completed, I had to face a more daunting and more real situation---and that was dealing with my Evangelical parents. Coming out as non-believer or a follower of a different philosophy or religion, comes with the same stigma as being Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender/Intersexed in this country. As the days went on, my plans for coming out to my parents were long, heart wrenching, and at times I was crying.

On the one hand I wanted to assert myself confidently in my new beliefs while at the same time not ridiculing my parent’s beliefs, while also trying to maintain family peace. Just for the sake of setting the scene, my parents are long time Christians---my father started out as a Roman Catholic then turned over to United Methodism and finally settling on Conservative Baptist. My mother was United Methodist then turned over to Conservative Baptism. It was about some time in August 04 when I decided to come out to my parents, I was hoping for the best yet cowering in fear over what reaction my parents would take. It was 8:00 and my parents were ready to settle in, when I came into their bedroom and informed them of my non-belief in Christianity and in their version of God.

I assured them that I did a lot of soul-searching, and did everything I could to hold on but by using my reason; there was no perfectly sound reason for belief based on my experience and thinking this out. I also told them that I respect their right to believe but on the other hand told them that I do not hold evangelical Christianity as legitimate. My mother was about ready to have a fit, she was making this rant about how I had disappointed her and she felt betrayed and that I’m going to hell because of it. To think that this was my mother who gave life and cared for me all these years?

My father though strong in his beliefs was more supportive of me and did everything he could to make this transition as easy as humanly possible. After that dreadful night, I researched into alternative philosophies, whether it was through reference material or websites including searches on “progressive religion”. It must have been about a week or two when I stumbled on the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA). “Where has the UUA been all my life?” I wondered.

Finally, a religion that draws from all ethical systems, religions, and philosophies, a place where a person’s worth and dignity are acknowledged, a place where reason is of the highest respect and is encouraged, where social justice and the environment are major concerns, is a religion without creeds, dogmas, one that everyone regardless of belief can join together and seek for truth for themselves, finally a place where you can be yourself without having to hide behind a label or mask.

In August and September, I decided to visit the Monte Vista UU Congregation in Montclair, CA. When I first came in through the door, I felt like I was coming home to kindred spirits who accepted me for who I am. Just like I expected, the discussions were passionate and meaningful, my voice actually mattered in congregational affairs, services were lively and I loved it! October 7th was my official inclusion into the UU community. Me and about three other visitors signed the “book” that allowed for us to become full members. At Monte Vista UU, I’m highly active with Interweave (GBLT concerns & social justice), as well as participating in Yoga on Wednesday nights, finally, I’m involved with the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS). And that’s how you too can feel yourself of spiritual slavery and embrace a worthwhile life.

City: Rancho Cucamonga
State: CA
Country: United States
Became a Christian: Birth
Ceased being a Christian: 18
Labels before: Conservative Baptist, Lutheran, Bible believing
Labels now: Unitarian Universalist, atheist, humanist, Buddhist, Pagan, freethinker, free spirit
Why I joined: fear of hell, wanting a relationship with Jesus/God, hopes of heaven,
Why I left: Bible is not inerrant, cult-like behavior, dogmatism, injustice of hell, sexism, racism, and homophobia, irrationality of the church, I was a threat to their beliefs, No existence for God/Jesus.
Email Address: ageofaquarius161 at hotmail dot com

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