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![]() Testimonials | Letters | News | Rants | Forums | Submit A Testimonial | Front Page Archives | Podcasts | Recent Comments | Live Chat | Printer Friendly Version Jesus Person No More .: posted Sunday, January 30, 2005 ::: by .:webmaster:. ::: EmailThis! » sent in by anonymous In 1971 I got "saved and became one of early "Jesus People" who attended Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa in Santa Ana, California. First it was in the big circus tent, and then in the new sanctuary. I was baptized in 1971 at Pirate's Cove at Corona Del Mar, and I married Calvary's live-in janitor in 1973, for ten years. I also attended a small charismatic church called Shekinah who had this flamboyant "healer" preacher named Brant Baker, but he ended up dying of AIDS. There was a lot of conforming for a female in the church to do. I was to "submit" to my husband, "obey" him and in other words, dote on him and be his yielding slave. It didn't bother me at the time, not until after I matured. Even worse, was the rampant anti-intellectualism. We were not encouraged to go to college because it was "secular" and "of the flesh," and yet at the same time it was demanded of the men to be a good provider and have a stable job. I guess the church didn't ever want us to think too much or to question anything or to use our brains at all. My husband was very good friends with Greg Laurie, pastor of Calvary Chapel of Riverside, and in 1974 we basically picked up and moved to Riverside, following Greg after his wedding to Cathe. In fact, we all four lived in the same big house, a house that Calvary Chapel of Riverside owned (we cut it in half to make it a duplex). My husband was vying for the position of Assistant Pastor and he wanted it very badly but ultimately it was awarded to someone else and this broke his heart. Greg Laurie went on to form the mega-church, Harvest ministries, and he is supposed to be Billy Graham's replacement. Ultiimately we moved away, divorced in 1983, I remarried and had a daughter and went to college - something I never felt encouraged to do by the church back then. I fell in love with Psychology and Carl Jung and found Christianity too literal and anti-intellectual. I have not been back to church, since. It wasn't a sudden de-conversion, it was gradual. And I paid for it psychologically. In fact, I ended up needing to talk about it in therapy a whole bunch. I had a lot of cognitive dissonance over it, alot of thinking I was going to go to hell. Mostly what bothered me was a certain sermon by Pastor Chuck Smith, Sr. about the Sin Against the Holy Spirit. He had taught us that if we "backslid enough, we would not know exactly the moment when we would lose our salvation. I was haunted by this sermon for many years until I was able to resolve my fears in therapy. Leaving Christianity freed me up for so many things, intellectually. I was free to explore philosophy, other points of view, even other religions. I found I enjoy the wisdom of many Eastern Religions, especially the Dali Lama and Tibetan Buddhism, but I do not have to get involved in the rituals or heavy belief systems if I don't want to. I prefer to think of myself as an Agnostic - I don't know if there is a God and I'm sure no one else knows for sure. There's a new found sense of inner volition and responsibility that you gain when you let go of blaming everything that happens on either "God's will" or "Satan's attacks." Add this page to: wrote: You are just plain screwed up in the head... posted: December 21, 2005 wrote: I don't know who you are talking to, but I will say it again....leaving Christianity was the BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE!! Leaving Calvary Chapel and all their phoney agape "love" was the best thing I've ever done. posted: December 31, 2005 wrote:
God is patient and you Melody will die in due time. For God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble. And you too will meet your God and will be held accountable for your proud (self willed )and rebellous actions for forsaking the right way. In your error you are promising freedom while you are a slave of corruption. For it would have been better for you not to have known the way of rightesnous than having known it, which is why the blackest darkness has been reserved. So much more severe the punishment will be because you have trampled under your foot the Son of God and have regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant which was sanctified. No amount of therapy or psychology. For it is a terrible thing for sinners to fall into the hands of a living God. posted: January 05, 2006 Onanite wrote:
A hate monger posted: posted: January 05, 2006 .:webmaster:. wrote:
Ah yes, the love of Christ from another "no-name" Christian. posted: January 05, 2006 wrote:
Anonymous, your god is a phoney - oh well, but the book that read from has a lot of dangerous ideas in it. When I read your post, it reminds me of such: Unibomber, abortion bombings, and the WTC bombing. posted: January 05, 2006 wrote: I find Anonymous and his comments full of prideful hipocrisy. I guess a lack of humility and prideful, "I am right, and you are going to hell", assumptions don't apply to this particular individual. I think it is just a matter of time before these devout christian hatemongers start showing their true hated towards life itself by strapping on explosive vests, or worse, like the muslim fanatics. How anyone could have such a hard on for the demise of human existence and an assumed "life after death" is beyond me. posted: January 05, 2006 wrote: I would agree with most who condemn the previous anonymous postings. I am ashamed of his blatant condemnations, hatred, and scare tactics. I can understand you anger towards anti intellectualism in the church. I have encountered it myself. It is one of the reasons I became an atheist many years ago. I think that agnosticism is a great place for you right now. It will give you the time you need to cleanse yourself of all the crap that you have experienced in the church. Plus it's a good place to start when confronting the question of the supernatural. I believe by definition that the supernatural is beyond man, and that we can never ascend to it. I believe that the only way we can know it is for it to make itself known. This has been my experience. On September 9 2001, God revealed himself to me, and I converted. This was the proof that satisfied me. I will join in agreement with all that the doctrines like hell and condemnation are just scare tactics to force agreement, and psychologically dangerous to those who fall victim to them. I am sorry for your experience with the church. But I must say that you would be guilty of a straw man argument, if you use things like your experience at Calvary Chapel, and the postings of the previous anonymous to discount Christianity. There are many great thinkers, and authors, and philosophers in Christianity. I would recommend at least starting with Greg Boyd, author of God of the possible. They may not be enough to bring you back to Christ, but a least your rejection of Christianity would be more intellectually honest, and not just reactionary. posted: January 08, 2006 wrote:
spud2290: "I believe by definition that the supernatural is beyond man, and that we can never ascend to it. I believe that the only way we can know it is for it to make itself known. This has been my experience. On September 9 2001, God revealed himself to me, and I converted. This was the proof that satisfied me." posted: January 08, 2006 Dave Koerner wrote:
Anonymous - posted: January 11, 2006 wrote: er - by "anonymous" I guess I mean "Melody" - just read more of the intervening posts .... posted: January 11, 2006 wrote:
Melody, I'm a fellow ex-Christian, living in Riverside (near Pachappa Hill). Do not fear, and do not weep. I truly feel that the only thing that really matters in the end, is-- do we live with love? The label you live with, or live without, is meaningless. I ended up choosing a Pagan path, but that's just me. It's where I am comfortable. posted: July 05, 2006 wrote:
I can only say one thing and would appreciagte comments, posted: September 25, 2006 boomSLANG wrote:
Supergoddess is in control, and if you try to say there is no Supergoddess, then Yahweh, the Christian biblegod, doesn't exist, since everything that exists needs a creator, therefore, there IS a Supergoddess...and she HATES those who worship false gods! posted: September 25, 2006 Alan wrote:
Anonymous wrote: posted: September 25, 2006 wrote:
Hi Iam david from Norway I think you lost the true way that you once had ! posted: October 11, 2006 wrote: I will post a comment later. posted: October 13, 2006 Hannelore wrote:
Hi David Koerner and Hi Melody posted: November 19, 2006 wrote:
Melody, posted: February 08, 2007 Post a Comment | Create a Link | Post in the Forums | Permalink Quickly catch up on comments posted to various articles on http://exchristian.net by clicking here. Keep track of comments on this topic with |
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