My Journey of Self-discovery - Testimonies of Ex-Christians

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My Journey of Self-discovery

.: posted 3/08/2004 ::: by webmdave :::

sent in by Allison Korte

In brief, I was born into a Catholic family. I was baptized before I knew how to talk, let alone decide my faith. When I was three, my parents divorced and I was landed with my mother, who was a devout but non-practicing Catholic. What I mean by that is, she never attended church and knew anything about Christianity, but her faith was never questioned when it came to Jesus.

When I turned 8 or 9, I decided I wanted to live with my father. A few years later, my father and I moved to San Antonio, Texas to live with my grandparents. Now my grandparents were even more Catholic than my mom. They went to church EVERY MORNING and they made me go on Sundays. At first, I had a problem with the waking up early part, but then I sort of started liking the mass.

But one part I never really did understand was why my father never went to church with us. He got to stay home on Sundays and watch football. A few road trips to California later, I started asking him what the reason was for his absence from church. He then began to tell me that he didn’t believe what the church professed and he thought the church was corrupt and immoral. At first I didn’t agree with him, but listening more in-depth to his opinions, I had a feeling this man knew what he was talking about. I began to research the Christian faith in books, magazines, and online. I also read the Bible, which is not a very typical thing to do as a Catholic kid. What I read was astonishing: I didn’t understand how such a merciful and loving god could be so vengeful and unforgiving. I also didn’t comprehend the concept of Hell, which was, in fact, never mentioned in the Bible.

As a result of my findings, I became more assertive and my opinions developed into philosophies. My dad and I often talked about the church and its history as a power-loving and hateful institution (which it still is). I also loved to raise a debate with my grandparents, who would tell me they pitied my soul for I was damned to Hell. It was all pretty funny to me that I knew more about their religion than they did.

I am now 15 going on 16, and I believe in a beautiful, merciful Creator who designed the human race to be free. She gave us the ability to create. Life is a glorious thing and it cannot be ruled by anyone: God, government, and especially the Church. Our destiny is our own and not predetermined for us, for it is what we make of it ourselves. I believe that science rules over faith and we should all go about thinking with reason and with light. I despise (and pity) the people who believe that they should fear the creator and live in constant dread that if they do not live outstanding lives, they will be damned to Hell.

I hallow the people who think outside of the box (just like our Creator meant for us to do) and question authority, for there is no ultimate authority. I worship the Earth and the Universe and Humankind and all of our Creator’s inventions, as well as our own. Most of the times I am labeled as a trouble-maker, but just as Ayn Rand said, “Men have been taught that it is a virtue to agree with others. But the creator is the man who disagrees.”

City: San Antonio
State: Texas
Country: USA
Became a Christian: Since I got born, but I started believing in the fourth grade
Ceased being a Christian: 13 years old
Labels before: Catholic
Labels now: Deist, if anything. I don't like to label myself
Why I joined: Christianity was the first religion I was exposed to and I didn't know any better, I suppose
Why I left: Partly because of my dad talking some sense into me and also because i began to read essays written by Paine, Jefferson, Washington, etc.
Email Address: hunny_bunny2006 at yahoo.com

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