Sent in by Emily

I'm living in a country where Catholicism is rampant. Atheism is considered evil here, for the religious people here are so deluded by their faith. I almost became one of them until one particular night made me question everything.

I was depressed; all of my personal problems were killing me. I was praying all the time to make them disappear. Nothing worked. I talked to my friend who is studying to be a priest about it. He said that I should go back to the Catholic Church (I denounced my Catholic faith back then). I was moved by his words at that time.

But at the same time, it hit me: I thought, "If God loves me, He should make all my problems gone because I always prayed." I remembered being taught that God doesn't want us to suffer, so why I was suffering?

A lot of questions were entering my mind about religion, God & everything else. After a lot of thinking, I realized what was taught in Catholic schools is illogical, inconsistent & wrong.

Catholic schools teach that all humans are born sinful because of Adam & Eve's sin, a teaching I find stupid because babies did nothing in their mother's womb except live.

They teach that nuns & priests have no money, because they are taught to be poor like Jesus. But as I observed them: the nuns have the nicest digital cameras, the biggest house in the street, & have maids. Is that what you call poor?

But I was scared to tell anyone about my doubt, since it's considered taboo here. But that doesn't mean that I should or could stop the doubt.

With the help of the Internet, I found sites that are run by atheists & freethinkers. After reading & researching, I've slowly turned from an agnostic to an atheist.

I'm loving my atheism my right now. It made me realize that I create my own life & live it. It made me go from the delusions & wrong teachings of the Church. I've become a real person. I'm not a person who depends on someone who doesn't exist. I depend on myself & to the people I love when I need help.

Even though I still don't have enough courage to tell I know that I'm an atheist, I know that my life became more real because I'm not into false hopes anymore.

Sent in by JP

I grew up Lutheran and never really had any problems with Christianity until I met my in-laws.

My wife's family is a very staunch,conservative and fundamental bunch. They are anti-homosexual, pro-life, anti-Santa, and very Republican. My family on the other hand is the exact opposite. I was taught to accept others for their differences and to do my best to love others unconditionally (which is a very difficult thing to do, I might add).

Anyway, after four months of dating, I knew Trish was the one. I had met her parents twice prior to purchasing a ring and felt as though they would have no problem accepting me into their family.

I called my soon to be father-in-law and informed him of my intent to marry his daughter. The first thing he asked me was "What are your thoughts on Christianity?" I told him that I do not believe that Christianity is the only way into heaven, that there is truth to all religions, and that I can not ignore that. He then asked me what my thoughts on Jesus were. I told him that I felt Jesus was a common man who had an innate ability to connect with people on a very personal level. I then told him that the true meaning of Christianity was to be Christ-like and to do your best to tolerate and love others unconditionally. My father-in-law then said that I was wrong on much of what I said and that he will not give me his blessings until he has spoken to his daughter. I told my father-in-law that his daughter is a grown woman and can make an informed decision on her own without his influence. He then asked me if I were going to propose regardless of his thoughts, then what was the point in asking. I told him that I figured he would be happy for us and that being a supposed "Man of God" (he's a pastor) that he would love me and welcome me into his family without hesitation. He told me that my thoughts on religion were ignorant and that I didn't know what I was talking about. That hurt me more than anything.

I have never been so disrespected and had never been judged so harshly by a supposed Christian.

Anyway, I went ahead and asked my wife and she said yes without hesitation. My father-in-law did not want to officiate our wedding and things have been very awkward the last two years between us. He really had an opportunity to show me what it meant to be a Christian, and he failed miserably.

Up until a few months ago they referred to me as "the situation" to their friends. I can understand them treating me this way if I had no direction and/or a means to take care of their daughter, but I own a house, I'm a college graduate, and my career is centered around helping troubled youth.

To this day my in-laws pray daily that I find Jesus and that I make it into heaven. My wife does not agree with her parents on any of this. She still practices her faith, but at least approaches things with an open mind.

This world is an ugly place, and religion is the root of it. We have killing in the name of God and organized protesting against homosexuality -- as well as bombings of abortion clinics -- all in the name of God, not to mention a world divided. Where's the good in this?

Anyway, I will never conform to a single religion and never will I conform to religion in order to gain acceptance from others. I am adamant that people learn to accept me for who I am versus how I spend my Sundays.

Christianity will never by my answer to happiness. Happiness solely relies upon you and only you, and when it comes to direction, my moral compass is the Golden Rule. I feel that too many Christians use religion as a crutch and find themselves so far out of touch with the world that it's a detriment to society and their own personal growth.

Anyway, there it is in a nutshell. I love my in-laws very much, and there is a lot of good in them, but to sacrifice a close relationship with me and my wife out of beliefs, I feel is a shame. They are free to believe in what they want, but I guarantee that God would never ask anyone to sacrifice a family member to prove their love for Him. That is just way too egotistical and arrogant for a supposed all-loving and caring God.

Sent in by Travis

I wasn't exactly raised in a strict Christian household, but we were Episcopalian and went to church regularly from when I was in the 4th grade on through to High School.

I was baptized at first and when I reached my teens I was confirmed and began taking communion. At the time I was told that when I took communion for the first time I would 'feel' the Holy Spirit come into me. Of course that never happened since there's no such thing, but my child mind was disappointed and felt let down.

As I started getting older and making friends I felt more and more different as everyone in Texas is pretty hardcore about their faith. I went to praise concerts and baptisms at my friend's pool and was so scared to admit to not believing it that I even faked speaking in tongues once.

Through High School I made no attempts to hide my lack of faith and was subjected to so many questions and interventions that I couldn't be civil about it anymore when it came up. It wasn't until I moved to New Jersey for college that I even found out I was an Atheist. I met people like me that knew the freedom of loosing one's religion.

The only answer that made sense to me was that there was no answer at all. I was finally complete and everything made sense.

Now I'm almost 29 and I'm married to the most wonderful woman. She's Christian, of course, and the conflict has created a few problems. We work through most of it. She doesn't drag me to church all the time and I find the good parts of the religion and try to implement those things in my life. I feel bad because I know she thinks one day I'll accept Jesus as being real, but it's never going to happen. Believers don't understand that once you leave there is no coming back. If you do come back then you never truly lost your faith to begin with.

I was lost, and now I'm found. Remember that character is based on what you do when nobody is looking - and trust me... nobody is looking.

Sent in by JSH

I used to attend church multiple times per week. I now no longer attend at all. My story:

I was raised Presbyterian Church in the United States of America (PCUSA). I went to a PCUSA church in Southeast Texas. I won't name the church; let's just say its name implies there weren't any other Presbyterian churches in the immediate area when it was founded. This large church is split between yuppies and fundies (and fundamentalist yuppies). When Bush was elected, the fundies (in other Protestant churches also -- this was at least a statewide phenomenon) decided this was the time that "strong leadership" would take back the church, the nation, the planet, the Milky Way, etc. In the quest for strong leadership, the session nominated a woefully under-qualified con artist who knew exactly what to say to leadership-starved fundies. You know, like how they voted for Bush.

While the session maintained as much silence as they could on the subject, the new pastor was abusing staff to the point where many quit. The session covered up his bad behavior so as to avoid accountability for hiring him (and to keep the sheep from knowing how unworthy of submission and obedience their leadership was), and he kept ramping up the bad behavior as he got away with more. Eventually, there was a committee formed for the sole purpose of examining his sermons (the term 'plagiarism' came up) and they took away his church credit card and put a lid on his expenses. Many consultants were hired. Said consultants, paid by the church, concluded that those protesting the new pastor needed "loving church discipline,, and that it was un-bibilical to leave the church or withhold tithes in protest of the pastor.

Here is where I point out that many conservative PCUSA churches withhold donations to the denomination in protest of it's left-wing (on some issues, in their opinion, whatever) slant. Hypocrites.

None of this caused the pastor to lose his job. That took a relationship with a woman not his wife that can be best described as "improper as hell." That was covered up by the session and the pastor was allowed to resign 'voluntarily' -- to spend more time with his family. This was during the pastor's divorce; he is marrying the "other woman."

Have I mentioned that when you get divorced, your ex-spouse gets subpoena power over your employer, and if you use an employer-provided cell phone to call your sweetie-pie, that will wind up being documented in a way that's available to the general public? I'm just sayin'.

I've dealt with that church's "leadership" on other topics. Based on my dealings with them, the ex-pastor is clearly just a symptom of the cult of leadership that has infected the church. The leader supposedly submits to God, and you submit to the leader. If you can't submit to the leader, whom you can see, how can you submit to God, whom you can't see? That, and since faith is defined as believing in baseless claims presented as fact, if you believe what your leader tells you to believe (the world is 6000 years old, the leader isn't a sleezebag, etc), the leader gets the blame if you've believed wrong, and Jeebus won't send you to hell for your error.

Basically, this church treated its pastor the way the Catholic church treats molesting priests; pawn them off on another church somewhere else, but keep it quiet so the organization as a whole doesn't take the hit. This 'ex' pastor is still ordained and eligible for another ministry position. He's taken part in ordinations in other presbyteries as "The Rev XYZ". I give him two years to fast talk his way into another pulpit, blaming church politics for his ouster at 'my' church.