By Ray

Image by Tomás Rotger via Flickr

Since posting my testimonial, "Religions are ridiculous" on May 23, 2009, I've noticed a lot of "anguish" on the postings to this website. There seems to be a "trend" to leave Christianity and then take up some other religion or belief. Either that, or going "cold turkey" into the world of atheism. Another alternative (which is no alternative at all) is to sit around in a limbo of gloom and examine our navels. These approaches can be bad for our health, and resolve nothing! Remember that God did not invent religion, people did. Watching and listening to people like Joel Osteen at his Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas should be enough proof of that. I doubt if God needs this kind of quackery.

Again, it is not necessary to give up on a Supreme Creator or Ruler of the Universe. But if you have to, then kick back and relax for a while. Get yourself a good bottle of wine (I suggest a white wine), some gourmet cheese and tasty bread. Then start watching some of your favorite movies and reading some fiction books. Take up cooking, gardening, model railroading, sewing, or some hobby. Whatever you do, don't become a religious addict by joining another church or religion. And don't start reading Christopher Hitchens to convince you that you need to be an atheist or whatever. Give your own brain a chance.

Finally, if you find you just can't stand leaving whatever Christian denomination you belonged to or/and church you attended, then pick another one that seems to have some sort of intelligence connected with it. That's going to be a tough call if you go that route, and only you can do it. However, keep in mind that deciding to join up with Islam or some other religion will not really satisfy your religious addiction. Once you have tasted and experienced Christianity (no matter how ridiculous the denomination), joining up with Judaism or Islam (much less Hinduism or Buddhism) could blow your mind out. These outfits are even more ridiculous.

If you do opt for atheism, then don't sit around and gloat, but join one of those organizations (preferably a non nut case outfit) that actively works to keep religion out of politics and education. It does not take an atheist to realize what damage religion has already done when it gets mixed up with politics or education and so on. On that note, keep in mind that there are a lot of anti-religious organizations out there that are as nutty as some of the religious groups they oppose. Good luck to everyone in their quest to find some sanity in the supermarket of ideas out there.

A letter from "Alone"

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Did deconversion create intense loneliness, depression and anxiety for anyone?

I began to have serious doubts about faith 2 years ago. I am desperate to still believe in God like I used to, but I just don't think I can anymore.

When I go to church it feels like I am trying to breathe under water. When I see people praising God I remember what it was like to believe and I wish I could be happy like them, but I just feel that I can't live a lie. I can't just believe again because I feel that I will ALWAYS doubt and it will never go away. I don't think I can handle being like this for much longer.

I just feel so incredibly afraid all the time. Like there's a pit in my stomach ALL THE TIME. I do not know who I am anymore and I feel really empty. When I think about religion my head actually physically hurts. I get terrified when I go to sleep and I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. It really affects my life and I cannot take much more of it. I have asked God to help me, but I just feel like I cannot do it anymore. I have tried to read the bible and go to church, but it does not work. If God says that we should seek and we will find, then why do I still feel this way? I have searched for God more than anyone I know.

I have moved to a new town and I cannot meet anyone here. I am desperately lonely. The people are very different and I struggle to connect with anyone. I have gone to church a few times because I just get so incredibly lonely. I still have Christian friends in other parts of the country and the world and I love them very much because they have supported me through very troubled times. They are worried about me but I just cannot explain to them what I am going through. Not one of my family members understands and my friends just think I am very sad.

I struggle to meet new friends because I am still in between being a Christian and leaving the church. This really hurts because I am a very social person. I really want to meet a woman, but I just feel like I can't. I worry about this because I feel like I can't be with someone who doesn't believe but I also can't be with someone who does! I am really worried that I am going to end up alone because of this.

Has anyone felt like this? I just need to know that it gets better because I just don't know if I can make it.

Thanks.

A letter from Trent

Although I still hold to a belief in Christ, I definitely relate to the experiences described by the contributors to this site. I went through Bible College and received a master's degree in seminary before I started to realize the carnage Christianity has left in it's rear view mirror. I am writing a book in hopes of shedding light on these detestable practices and would love to include some of your real life experiences.

I don't honestly know if it's a conflict of interest to for ex-Christians to help a fed-up Christian write a book scolding most Christians but figured it's worth a shot :) !!! If you would be game to help, please send me your experiences at trenttc11 AT gmail DOT com

Thanks

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My name is Philip Francis, a doctoral student at Harvard Divinity School, writing a dissertation on religious disenchantment narratives and the arts. I am posting here to see if there are any readers who would be willing to contribute to my project a short memoir of their experience of leaving the Christian fold, making particular note of the role of the arts, creativity, literature, beauty, the combined work of a particular artist or aesthetic experience (most broadly conceived) in this process.

This memoir could be sent to me directly at pfrancis@hds.harvard.edu or posted on Exchristian.net. Questions about the project may also be directed to my email address.

The following are some basic guidelines and starter questions, but approach the writing anyway you like.

The memoir may be as short or long as you like and assume any form. It may be signed or anonymous.

Others have found it useful to structure their memoir as follows:

1. The Unsettling: reflect on your experience of the forces and factors that unsettled you from the system of beliefs and practices that you once held in a dogmatically unassailable manner. Were the arts in any way a part of this initial unsettling? Feel free to cite specific examples from the arts and literature, or your own creative projects.

2. The Liminality: reflect on your experience of the initial transition away from your previous system of beliefs and practices, the in-between space. Was there a time in which you had begun to disavow your previous religious beliefs and practices but had not yet established a new set of beliefs and practices? What was it like to dwell in that liminal, in-between space? Did the arts play a role in this phase?

3. The loss of faith: reflect on the experience of losing religious faith all together, or losing faith in a particular set of beliefs and practices, or a certain vision of God. And/or reflect on the various kinds of losses incurred in this process of disenchantment with Christianity (or some aspect of it). In all these experiences, was loss negotiated in any way by recourse to the arts, creativity and aesthetic experience?

4.The aftermath: reflect on your experience of the aftermath of disenchantment with Christianity (or with some other form of religious belief and practice). Have you found new forms of faith and practice? Have you found it unnecessary to construct new, fixed, systems of belief? Did your relationship to religious doubt, uncertainty and mystery change over the course of this experience?

What is the role of the arts in the aftermath of these experiences? Have the arts assumed any of the roles once played by your previous forms of religious faith?

***
In all aspects of this memoir I am most interested in hearing about your lived experience, not merely your rational, theological or philosophical justifications for leaving Christianity (or other), although I recognize that it is not always easy to separate the two.
***

Thanks very much for your contribution to this project. All the best, Philip (pfrancis@hds.harvard.edu)

Questions from Saczino

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I have been an atheist for 4 months now. I have been studying evolution as the alternative to creation (Most atheists seem to ‘believe’ in evolution). However, I have been highly disappointed by what I have discovered regarding evolution, it also seems to be taken by faith. There is no scientific proof for most of the evolutionary theories.

There seems to be six sections or steps to evolution

1. Cosmic evolution – the origin of matter, space and time.

There is absolutely no proof what-so-ever that matter, space and time can come out of nothing. The big bang (creation of matter, the rotation and the explosion of this matter) can not be proven in any scientific lab (i.e. no tests or experiments can be done to proof the big bang). As for something being coming out of nothing is just ridiculous!!!

Generally accepted theory is that: All matter was condensed in a dot, and the dot came from nothing – this is just ridiculous!!! The very 1st step of evolution makes no sence to me. And how people can believe this is beyond my understanding!

2. Chemical evolution – elements with high atomic mass than hydrogen.

Evolution further states that hydrogen would have then been created from or was the main source of the cosmic evolution. I fail to find anything published about how all the other elements came about. Where all the elements in the dot? Very little info seems to be published regarding chemical evolution.

3. Stellar and planetary evolution – origin of stars and planets

The law of conservation of momentum seems to disagree completely with this type of evolution. The fact is, we have these dens parts (stars and stuff) in the universe and thousands of kilos of empty space. This cannot be a result of a spinning object – the law of conservation of momentum clearly states that matter should be evenly distributed when a spinning object breaks into a lot of stuff. Also, you have planets that are rotating in the opposite direction to the sun – also a direct violation of the law of momentum conservation. Therefore, this type of evolution is completely unscientific!!!

4. Organic evolution- Origin of life from inanimate matter (rocks)

There is absolutely no proof that life can come out of the rocks and the water of the big bang. The earth is believed to have had craters and volcanic matter from whence life came! There is absolutely no proof of this!! No experiment that I know of has proven life coming out of cosmic mud!! Nothing!!!

5. Macroevolution- Origin of major kinds of trees, animals, fishes, etc…

No proof for this either. The familiar sketch of a lizard growing wings and turning into a bird seems to be people’s imagination. No proof what-so-ever for a lizard with no wings, giving birth to a lizard that is developing wings!!! There is no proof that from a frog you can get anything that is not a frog or even a frog with horns on anything that is an improvement on the parent frogs – no proof what so ever!!!!!

6. Microevolution – changes between the same species.

This basically means a cow in the North Pole will have thicker fur them a cow in the equator. And if you take a baby cow from the equator to the North Pole, as an adult cow it will have thicker fur then its parents. This is the only evolutionary step we have proof for. Animals do adjust to their environment. But the change must not be extreme. That is to say, if you put a dog in a cage under water it will drown, it will not grow gills. No matter how long you give it, it will not grow fins!! However, the dog would adjust to small changes in temperature – thicker fur. This has been proven, but it has nothing to do with the other 5 steps.

There is absolutely no scientific proof for the other 5 steps. So do we then say religious people are crazy for believing in a god while we believe everything can from a dot that came out of nothing???!! The fact is none of us can proof beyond reasonable doubt that evolution is true – this is probably because it is not. I believe once we accept that neither religion nor evolution (I don’t say science because evolution is not a science, it is also a believe – you have to take it by faith!!!) can answer the questions about the beginning, only then can we start to work on finding out exactly were we come from!!!

Please, if there is anybody that can proof to me otherwise or that can suggest reading material for me that will be highly appreciated.

A letter from Todd

Image by HuNo (On & Off) via Flickr

Thanks!

I would like to express my appreciation for this site. I am like most of you: Someone who has "left the faith." I am also a survivor of a Christian cult.

For some years I have sought to find a well established form such as this to hear the accounts of others like me. I hope to do more writing and submit to you my account of all the fucked up stuff that happened to me within the Christian community.

Thanks again for being here.

-Todd