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By Brother Jeff
I find myself in agreement with Gandhi. Though I don’t believe that he was god, I have nothing in particular against Christ. I do, however, have something against Christians, and it is this -- I hate their willful ignorance and I hate their bigotry and intolerance. I am referring specifically to homosexuality.
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I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mohandas Gandhi
I find myself in agreement with Gandhi. Though I don’t believe that he was god, I have nothing in particular against Christ. I do, however, have something against Christians, and it is this -- I hate their willful ignorance and I hate their bigotry and intolerance. I am referring specifically to homosexuality.
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By Brother Jeff of ChristianityIsBullshit.com
A survey that I took the other day has had me thinking about why I walked away from the Christian faith. I didn’t walk away because I rebelled against God or because I was angry with God or because I was treated badly or hurt in the church. In fact, my church life was very good. I had good friends. I had a good relationship with church leadership. I even frequently sang solos during church services and sang in the praise and worship choir. I had a great time in church and I still miss the sense of belonging and the sense of fellowship with other believers that I enjoyed during my Christian days...
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A survey that I took the other day has had me thinking about why I walked away from the Christian faith. I didn’t walk away because I rebelled against God or because I was angry with God or because I was treated badly or hurt in the church. In fact, my church life was very good. I had good friends. I had a good relationship with church leadership. I even frequently sang solos during church services and sang in the praise and worship choir. I had a great time in church and I still miss the sense of belonging and the sense of fellowship with other believers that I enjoyed during my Christian days...
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Labels: Brother Jeff
By Brother Jeff
1. You believe that an ancient Book of Myths filled with contradictions, absurdities, atrocities, myths, fables, and plenty of nonhistorical "history" is somehow magically the inerrant, infallible "Word of God".
2. You believe that a Magical Being magically brought the universe into existence by speaking a powerful magical spell from Nowhere approximately 6000 years ago.
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1. You believe that an ancient Book of Myths filled with contradictions, absurdities, atrocities, myths, fables, and plenty of nonhistorical "history" is somehow magically the inerrant, infallible "Word of God".
2. You believe that a Magical Being magically brought the universe into existence by speaking a powerful magical spell from Nowhere approximately 6000 years ago.
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By Brother Jeff
This is my glorious parody of this page (http://www.carm.org/seek/christianity.htm). Glory!
Kryasstianity is a religion based upon the teachings and miracles of Jesus. Jesus is the Kryasst. The word “kryasst” means anointed one. Kryasst is not Jesus’ last name. Jesus is the anointed one from the Magical Being who came to this biblically flat world, fulfilled the Old Testament laws and shit, Croaked in the Spook on the big giant stick, and Magically Undeadened Himself physically. He performed many magical miracles which were recorded in the Gospels by the eyewitnesses. He is magical in nature as well as human. Thus, He has two natures and is therefore somehow magically worthy of worship and prayer.
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This is my glorious parody of this page (http://www.carm.org/seek/christianity.htm). Glory!
Kryasstianity is a religion based upon the teachings and miracles of Jesus. Jesus is the Kryasst. The word “kryasst” means anointed one. Kryasst is not Jesus’ last name. Jesus is the anointed one from the Magical Being who came to this biblically flat world, fulfilled the Old Testament laws and shit, Croaked in the Spook on the big giant stick, and Magically Undeadened Himself physically. He performed many magical miracles which were recorded in the Gospels by the eyewitnesses. He is magical in nature as well as human. Thus, He has two natures and is therefore somehow magically worthy of worship and prayer.
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Labels: Brother Jeff
In the spirit (or should I say, "SPOOK") of Thomas Jefferson and J.B Phillips, Brother Jeff has set upon a personal campaign to bring forth not necessarily a more accurate rendition, but a more clear and entertaining version of the Word of Kryasst. He hopes that by this initial effort in "translating" the Gospel According to Matthew, showers of blessings will descend upon a great horde of unwashed apostates -- i.e., us.
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Labels: Brother Jeff
Bless the Lard! I am pleased to announce that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him has magically inspired me to enter the race for President of the United States! Glory!
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Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
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Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
Labels: Brother Jeff
By Brother Jeff
Adapted from The Lordship of Christ.
In the Book of Myths, Jesus of Nazareth has received many titles. He is called the Kryasst, Son of the Holy Farter, Son of Man, Slaver, and Messiah. He has also been called "Lard." Unlike many of the other terms given to Jesus, the term Lard is relatively common and as such its meaning is often taken for granted. But what does the Lardship of Kryasst actually mean?
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Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
Adapted from The Lordship of Christ.
In the Book of Myths, Jesus of Nazareth has received many titles. He is called the Kryasst, Son of the Holy Farter, Son of Man, Slaver, and Messiah. He has also been called "Lard." Unlike many of the other terms given to Jesus, the term Lard is relatively common and as such its meaning is often taken for granted. But what does the Lardship of Kryasst actually mean?
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Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
Labels: Brother Jeff
By Brother Jeff
JESUS is just so AWESOME! I have been thinking a lot about God lately, and after the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sinfulness, I turned my life over to Christ! Again! This time it's for real and it's for good! I'll never turn my back on Him again! As for me and my cat wife Tasha, we will serve the LORD! I am so grateful to God for the way He has been helping me at school. When I don't know something, I pray about it, and Jesus gives me a revelation! And sometimes He is right! Glory! And I know that when He is wrong it's my fault for not hearing Him correctly, or it's Satan's fault for interfering with the spiritual transmission. Man, God is so awesome! If you're not God's friend, then you are His enemy and you are going to burn in HELL forever! Jesus loves you!
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Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
JESUS is just so AWESOME! I have been thinking a lot about God lately, and after the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sinfulness, I turned my life over to Christ! Again! This time it's for real and it's for good! I'll never turn my back on Him again! As for me and my cat wife Tasha, we will serve the LORD! I am so grateful to God for the way He has been helping me at school. When I don't know something, I pray about it, and Jesus gives me a revelation! And sometimes He is right! Glory! And I know that when He is wrong it's my fault for not hearing Him correctly, or it's Satan's fault for interfering with the spiritual transmission. Man, God is so awesome! If you're not God's friend, then you are His enemy and you are going to burn in HELL forever! Jesus loves you!
(Click here for more...)
Technorati tags: ex-Christian | exchristian | ex-tian | skeptic
Labels: Brother Jeff
by Brother Jeff
You need to be slaved, and I praze GAWD that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him has magically convinced you of that fact! Glory! Here's how to get slaved! Let's walk the Romans Road together, shall we? You'll notice that all of the following verses are from the glorious Book of Romans, which is why our journey is said to be on the metaphorical Romans Road!
The first verse on the Romans Road to slavation is Romans 3:23, "For all have done shit that pisses Jesus off, and come short of the glory of Gawd." We have all done shit that pisses Jesus off.
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You need to be slaved, and I praze GAWD that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him has magically convinced you of that fact! Glory! Here's how to get slaved! Let's walk the Romans Road together, shall we? You'll notice that all of the following verses are from the glorious Book of Romans, which is why our journey is said to be on the metaphorical Romans Road!
The first verse on the Romans Road to slavation is Romans 3:23, "For all have done shit that pisses Jesus off, and come short of the glory of Gawd." We have all done shit that pisses Jesus off.
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Labels: Brother Jeff
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