By newly not

Here is my tribute to those who are Christian by name only:

You call yourself a Christian, but you *still* haven't read the Bible all the way through, even though you usually have the 'Fifteen Minutes a Day' it takes. You're conveniently avoiding the numerous vile Scriptures we atheists like to throw at you.

You call yourself a Christian, but you adhere to "selective morality" when it comes to obeying what The Word teaches. Don't you love God enough to do what He says? A good page for many examples of this is:

http://www.evilbible.com/christians_are_hypocrites.htm

You call yourself a Christian, but you get in slumps where you only pray to "God" when you need something, or things are going bad.

You call yourself a Christian, but do any number of the following in relation to church:

* You're secretly happy when circumstances prevent you from going

* You sometimes can't help tuning out the sermon (because it's so "damn" boring)

* You often feel embarrassed by your fellow arms-in-the-air/crying zealots

* You get annoyed when you're requested to stand (you were obliged to get up early on a weekend; who can blame you?)

* You act like the offering plate is a hot potato when it's passed to you

* You have closed your eyes or slept during it

* You don't go at all (except on Easter and Christmas, of course!)

You call yourself a Christian, therefore you believe God will always provide, so why do you sometimes jip God of his tithe because you feel you've wasted money on something that month?

You call yourself a Christian, but you like watching Desperate Housewives just as much as the next guy.

You call yourself a Christian, but you "witness" to other people about as often as you tell them your blood type (or you're in the other extreme and all sense of being "Christ-like" goes out the window when you do).

You call yourself a Christian, therefore are against abortion by default, but what about the millions of half-children you're killing every time you whack off (to porn?).

You call yourself a Christian, so why is it that various sources say that your faith has the highest divorce rate, while atheists have the lowest of all? Ironic, don't you think?

You call yourself a Christian, so why do you give much thought to death at all? Christians don't really "die" after all, right?

I call you a hypocrite.

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