"It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ,"[bold added]

Molesting young boys is, somehow on par with, or even lower on this idiots vileness scale than swipeing a cracker?

Chew it up, shit it out, not "desecration".

Hold onto it till it goes stale, vile to a point its hard to imagine anything more vile.

I think it should be stored in a condom.

Stronger Now: "Chew it up, shit it out, not 'desecration'."

Ah, the etymology of the phrase "Holy shit!"

This is a story that I was told to be true when I was in the first grade at St Edwards Catholic School:

A very bad dude had a plan to go to Holy Communion at church, and instead of swallowing the "holy wafer" he removed it from his mouth and kept it hidden in his 'prayerfully folded' hands. His intention was to deliver the blessed sacrament to some 'evil' cult for it's satanic and ritualistic desecration...

After the guy got back to his pew, he carefully brought out his handkerchief and wrapped up the wafer in it. He then placed the hanky back inside his coat pocket. The story goes that he had been promised a large sum of cash in return for the delivery of the 'host'.

Once the service (Mass) ended, the evil pawn stood and shuffled his way to the back door of the church. As he stepped out of the building he slipped his hand down and into his pocket that held his handkerchief. The instant that he slid his fingers into the pocket slit, he felt a strange wetness at his fingertips. Quickly glancing down to his now trembling hand, he jerked his half inserted fingers back from inside the coat pocket. He stared in frozen horror at his now violently shaking hand. The hand that had placed the Holy Eucharist into his coat pocket was now covered with BLOOD!

At the same moment that his eyes saw the dripping crimson hand, he became electrified with the sensation of something warm and liquid slowly running down his leg from under his winter coat. A pool of red blood was forming at his feet. In sheer panic he reached into his pocket and pulled the now sopping red cloth into the sunday morning light.

Clutching in both hands the scarlet flowing host, the poor lost soul fell first to his knees and then face first to the ground. The priest and parishioners were able to recover the bleeding wafer and in joyful praise, they wept as the priest consumed the sacred body and blood of their lord and savior. As for the wicked traitor; His body died that Sunday morning, but his soul lives to this day in the most torturous and painful depth of his well deserved eternal home.

The worst part is...My six year old mind believed it.

I really hope that this P.Z. Myers issue helps to bring the obsurdity of religious beliefs into the light of reason...these Catholics are fraknin' coo-coo.

Careful with the link to the article. I got hit with several downloader trojans.

As for the wicked traitor; His body died that Sunday morning, but his soul lives to this day in the most torturous and painful depth of his well deserved eternal home.

Interesting - if it were a Protestant fundie piece of propaganda, they'd most likely have him converting as a result.

Downloader trojans from the Star Tribune? Huh?

This has got to be the most ridiculous thing EVER. Someof these yahoos even want this punished as a HATE CRIME. Let's consider this...

That means they think:
Desecrated cracker = Matthew Shepard

They actually want a cracker to have the same rights as a human being. The Eucharist is the "victim".

You've have got to be fucking kidding me. When will this bullshit end?

I beg to disagree. Although a strong strain of insanity prevades the Judeo-Christian religion, and I list a few small examples of God's insane actions: demanding that Abraham sacrifice Isaac to "prove" his faith, demanding ethnic cleansing of the Canaanites, sacrficing his own son, "inspiring" the book of Revelation, allowing industrial scale genocide, etc. & etc. We still must respect others beliefs so that they will respect ours. And yes, to a rational person the Eucharist is only a cracker.

Okay, I was raised Roman Catholic and taught that the wafer was the honest-to-goodness-body of Christ. I am a rational person, an atheist, but the frickin' superstition STILL haunts my subconscious. Although I blaspheme as much as the next atheist but probably not as much as PZ Myers (whom I adore), I would never think of pulling a stunt like that because, well, um...I still check under my bed for the Bogey Man. LOL!!! Religious superstitions are hard to shake off. I visited a church in Mexico where the bat-shit crazy priest kept a raw steak in a 1978 (circa) GE fridge and managed to convince the faithful that the Eucharist had turned into Christ's flank meat. Every so often the Padrecito would pull the steak out for his steak-devotees to worship. Obviously, the priest controlled an illiterate and poverty-stricken crowd but he had power. The Catholic League should investigate this raw-steak-masquerading-as-Christ's-flank deal.

Deep fried and served with salsa and guacamole. Mmmmmmmmmm


"Mommy, Brittany won't share any bodies of Christ with me!"
"Brittany, you have a whole big bowl of bodies, now you share some with your little brother or no going to mall with your friends later on!"

Wayne notes;."..They actually want a cracker to have the same rights as a human being. The Eucharist is the "victim"...

This makes me wonder?;

If faced with the choice of having to choose between the life of an actual living person or the desacration of a cracker, how many of these believers would sacrifice the human being before they would allow the destruction of a wafer?

It's a far flung notion, but I'd suppose many would esteem the cracker above a human being...

BilltBee wrote "It's a far flung notion, but I'd suppose many would esteem the cracker above a human being..."

The guy (who originally smuggled the eucharist) has been receiving death threats. I guess that answers the question.

BTW - I read your story about St. Edwards... I'm appalled that they can just bald-faced LIE to kids like that. I'm glad you broke free...

If transubstantiation is for real, why are entire congregations not being arrested for cannibalism?

Now that the student has returned the wafer, perhaps it should be sold on e-Bay and the proceeds used to pay off some of the folks who have come forward to say that they were RAPED by priests as kids.

spike

@Shakeitup:

You can't deep fry Christ's flank meat ...but fajitas would be nice.
:-)

@Magic Wafer:

I have been to first communions where at least ONE 7-year-old throws up the wafer. I don't blame the kid...the wafer leaves a stale aftertaste.

Bill Donohue reminds me of that foul-mouthed old man on Yoo-Toob who calls himself "The Brooklyn Kid"...

There have been times when I've mentioned to Xians the weirdness of their ritual act of cannibalism and they freak out and say "What are you TALKING about???", and I have to remind them that is exactly what they're doing when they eat the EuchaRitz cracker and sip the Thunderbird.

Besides, everyone knows Jeebus appears on pieces of toast.

I'm STILL waiting for my patent to clear on my processed, cheese-food spread to be used on communion wafers...I'm calling it "Jeez Whiz" and it will come with a complimentary salad bar...

Lee

@ Astreja: ROFL!! Holy shit...hehehehe...

@ billybee: Jesus fuckin' Christ that's messed up. I was expecting a Saul/Paul blinded-by-the-light conversion ending too...sheesh..

@ Wayne: No, they probably think the cracker should have more rights than humans because it is, after all, their GOD...in actual, touchable (and yummily eatable) form! It's...it's GOD for chrissake!!

Someday I'm going to come up with a nice satire menu for Christ's Cannibal Cafe or something ;)

Lee: "I'm STILL waiting for my patent to clear on my processed, cheese-food spread to be used on communion wafers...I'm calling it "Jeez Whiz" and it will come with a complimentary salad bar..."

(stops giggling and picks Herself up off the floor) Don't forget a good selection of Fruits of the Spirit to go with the lettuce. Drupes for the dupes, citrus for the sinners, grapes of divine wrath, and some nice slices of Talking Snake™ apple.

wash it all down with a bloody mary..

I wonder how they taste dipped in salsa? Are they "CORN" chips? What in hell are they made of?

Answer:

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-communion-wafers-made-of.htm

"The traditional communion wafers served during Roman Catholic communion services are made out of two ingredients, wheat flour and water. In fact, during the earliest years of the Christian church, there was an entire ritual surrounding the process of creating communion wafers, beginning with the selection and cleansing of the wheat. Once the wheat had been properly washed and ground, only a baker sanctioned by the local church council could produce communion wafers in a ceremonially shielded iron-plated oven.

Eventually, certain orders of nuns assumed the responsibility of creating communion wafers, which often became a source of income for their convents. The standard ingredients still remained wheat flour and water, with no seasoning or leavening permitted. Communion wafers were intended to melt in the recipient's mouth as he or she reflected on the sacrifices made by Jesus Christ. During the Eucharist service, a form of wine or natural grape juice is also served along with the communion wafer.

Modern communion wafers may be embossed with religious symbols or perforated for easier dispensation. The priests who serve holy communion may have to consume larger communion wafers, also called hosts, than those placed on the tongues of congregants. There are also larger sheets of communion wafers designed to be broken along pre-scored lines. Religious supply stores often carry several different varieties of communion wafers to address the needs of different Christian denominations."

****In Mexico, unconsecrated wafers are used to make a dessert called obleas which contains a kind of sweet caramel made of goat's milk (cajeta, in Spanish).****

... and they taste like cardboard -- yuck!

--S.