BERTHA, Minn. — Carol Race thinks it's important for her 13-year-old son to be in church on Sundays for Catholic Mass.
Leaders of the
Church of St. Joseph once felt the same way, but not anymore. They say Race's autistic son Adam is disruptive and his erratic behavior threatens the safety of other parishioners.
The northern Minnesota church has obtained a restraining order to keep Adam away, an action that has been deeply hurtful to the Race family and has brought them support from parents of other autistic children.
"My son is not dangerous," Carol Race said. The church's action is "about a certain community's fears of him. Fears of danger versus actual danger," she said.
In court papers, church leaders say the danger is real. The
Rev. Daniel Walz wrote in his petition for the restraining order that Adam — who already is more than 6 feet tall and weighs more than 225 pounds — has hit a child, has nearly knocked over elderly parishioners while bolting from his pew, has spit at people and has urinated in the church.
"His behavior at Mass is extremely disruptive and dangerous," wrote Walz. "Adam is 13 and growing, so his behaviors grow increasingly difficult for his parents to manage."
Carol Race said Walz's claims are exaggerated.
"He's never actually injured anyone," she said. "He's never knocked down anyone. He's never urinated on anyone or spit on anyone."
Carol Race was cited for attending church May 11 in violation of the restraining order, and faces a hearing Monday. She says she can't afford a lawyer and will defend herself in court. A lay mediator is scheduled to meet with her and church board members on Wednesday.
Autism is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate and interact with others. It is more severe in some people than others. Adam has limited verbal skills.
Walz did not return calls seeking comment, but Jane Marrin, who works for the
Diocese of St. Cloud and is acting as a spokeswoman for the parish, said the church board tried working with the Races to find "reasonable accommodations." That included offering a video feed of Mass that could be watched in the church basement.
The family refused all suggestions, she said.
"It's a difficult issue," Marrin said. "There are no easy answers."
Carol Race dismissed the church's suggestion that Adam watch a video feed in the church basement, saying that "does not have the same status as attending Mass. Otherwise we could all just sit home and watch it on TV and not bother to come in."
"It's considered a sin in the Catholic church not to attend Mass on Sundays and every holy day of obligation," she said. "And that's what this is about. I'm just trying to fulfill my obligations."
Adam is one of five children. The family's home in nearby Eagle Bend has separate study rooms so the other children can read books and use crayons that Adam could otherwise destroy.
Carol said Adam has two favorite spots in the house, the prayer room and the kitchen table. "He likes to eat," she said, laughing.
Adam is prone to anxiety attacks. Carol said some of those outbursts force members of the family to sit on him to calm him down, or restrain his hands and feet with a strip of felt.
In his court petition, Walz said that after one service Adam got into another family's car, started it and revved up the engine while there were people in front of the vehicle.
"Adam's continued presence on parish grounds not only endangers the parishioners, it is disruptive to the devout celebration of the Eucharist," Walz wrote. "I have repeatedly asked John and Carol to keep Adam from church; they have refused to do so.
"In fact, Carol told our parish council that she would have to be dragged from church in handcuffs if I tried to keep Adam from attending Mass," he wrote.
The Races have received support from other parents, including Chris and Libby Rupp, who brought their autistic daughter from St. Paul on Memorial Day weekend and sat in the church's back pew normally occupied by the Races.
"I think this case is mostly about not understanding autism," Libby Rupp said. "I wanted to show them another example. Ultimately, we just need more people to truly understand autism."
Rupp met the Races and said she could see why some people might be uncomfortable around Adam, but she added: "Never at one point did I feel that anyone was in danger."
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1) she is forcing her children into christianity
2) restraining her son?
3) there might be more here...but i can tell something isnt right with the mother.
As far as the "restraining" issue goes, I guess I really can't judge the mom on that because I don't know what it is like to have an out of control 6 foot giant in my house! I do however, have a 14 year old spoiled brat who scares the hell out of me when he throws a fit, so maybe autistic boy's Mumsy has gotta do what she has gotta do!
I did have an experience where my 9 year old boy was violently bit TWICE by an autistic 9 year old girl during theater camp. The morons who were in charge did NOTHING to stop her from attacking my son and did NOTHING about it afterward because they were afraid to deal with it! They left it for me to deal with it and then they didn't like the way I dealt with it so I politely told them to get screwed.
Its not that I am insensitive to disabled children but when they pose a danger to the community they should not be allowed to run amuck in said community! The mother is being very stupid and irresponsible by insisting that everyone else deal with her dangerous kid. Obviously, if the kid was revving up someone's car than Mumsy was not watching him closely enough. Maybe they should arrest her for neglect!
Oh wait, if healing were to occur than god wouldn't get any glory because the child was made that way and as such is an object lesson that shows the glory of god.
So then this church is barring a "work of god"? Sounds to me like this church really doesn't love god and all his (defective) works.
Actually, if the church doesn't do anything about this defective child of God than they might lose members, which would mean less money in the collection plates!
So, yeah, you are right!
"Uhhhh, as much as I hate to admit it, I have to side with the church on this one! Sounds like the kid is out of control and is in need of professional help! And so does the mom, for that matter!"
I agree with this statement. I am an elementary public school teacher. This is my second year in a row to have a student with Asperger's in the general education classroom. As much as inclusion may be a good idea, these students can sometimes pose a threat to the other students in the room. I even think that the environment only exacerbates their issues, and fosters more anxiety in their life. My two always seemed to do their best to be invisible in a room full of people. Maybe it is money or pride, but I don't get why these parents don't seek out the help/attention/whatever it is that these kids need to learn how to function better in society.
Anyway, maybe this experience will make this woman rethink her entire religious conviction...
has control of this kid? I think the church is not capable of sorting this problem out.
God is supposed to be able take care of any mortal problem. I guess it would be hopeless to try and get the pope involved, too small a matter for him. So...what to do?
Common sense doesn't seem to work here, GOD IS IMAGINARY,
and they haven't figured that out yet.