The abuse left this pastor either insane or dumb.

So he is a pastor and is unable to realize that the abuser could have done it to somebody else?

I seriously question his I.Q. Perhaps choosing less than brilliant victims is part of the perverts MO.

I don’t understand how Pastor Mike can praise a god who watched the abuse and did nothing to stop it.

Brutal comments, easy easy. Blame the victimizer, not the victim. This sort of abuse screws up peoples' heads. No surprise to me that he turned to his drug, church, for comfort.

Well I’m an ex –Biblist but I’m not ex-caring , ex-compassionate, ex-empathetic. I still look for the good. The good I see here is the courage of Mike Lewis to come forward publicly at this time and try to right the horrible wrong done to himself and others.
There is no right time to come forward and be public about sexual assault, when a person especially a man from a Christian background, comes forward to make things right he feels vulnerable to a most profound shame.
Here is a strange twist that only an truly loving ex- Christian can understand, the more a Christian male takes on the kindness and humbleness and forgiveness and loving nature that Jesus commanded , the more likely he looks like a bunny rabbit to a sexually predatory wolf.
I know this from first hand experience and will share my deep shame for my ex Christian brothers that might find themselves struggling in this bunny rabbit position.
I was fortunately never sexually assaulted in the manner that most people think of it, but on multiple occasions I found myself surviving the attempt of assault. I’ve always been a straight man but way the heck to sweet and kind and forgiving at the time of the attempted assaults. I would pray to Bibler God and Jesus-ah and ask WTF? “ WTF was that for Bible God?” “You know I like women Bible God , why you throwing that %^&* at me?”
Well turns out no Gosh or God or flying teapot was throwing anything at me, I was simply so damn sweet when I was at my deepest level of Christianity, that I looked like a an easy victim, a big sweet chewy fluffy bunny rabbit to a surprising number of wolves. My kindness really was mistaken as as ummm.. not being a real man. Luckily, I was a fluffy bunny rabbit born with with fangs and when a situation unfolded and I was for sure in the presence of a wolf I bared my fangs the wolves backed off. But my Christian brothers, let me remind you those wolves often come at you dressed in that sweet kind loving bunny outfit.
To keep it short , I got tired of saying WTF? And figured out what was going on, spent a small fortune learning the manly art of wolf killing. I simply concluded that for real I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD than be someone’s maggot bidge. It took years to learn what many men are taught much earlier in life about combat science but I walk and sleep fearlessly, cause I just don’t mind killing the MF that messes with me. I was not free to choose that when I was a kind loving bunny rabbit.
Religion taught me to NOT see what I see, NOT observe what I observe, NOT conclude what I conclude. I really was so weakened by my obligation to be humble I could NOT judge a situation until I was too far into it. I still believe in diplomacy and rational dialog before violence but I don’t let others confuse it for weakness.
So when is the right time to come forward? You just wake up one day and realize you are strong enough , not the strongest, toughest, baddest; just strong enough to say “NO MORE” . Just strong enough to see what I see , and say NO MORE.
Mike Lewis , I see you as a brave and courageous man, my world is little safer because you had the courage to come forward and say NO MORE. I’m one ex-Christian that honors what is good about you, to see that good and say it even we don’t agree on all things.

Sure, we can look for the good in anybody, but as long as this guy isn't now praised when he was so silent (a silence he was going to keep until they called him on it, - ie. he didn't have some 'awakening of strength'), when that silence allowed the abuse to continue on for others, and a known paedophile to continue as a 'respected' leader.

Some of the responses are obviously written by people who have never suffered sexual abuse and may not understand how the victim thinks or feels. Please don't be so quick to judge this poor guy for keeping silent about his abuse.

I can tell you from personal experience that the shame and humiliation of being abused, especially at such a vulnerable age, is so devastating that it often shuts down the ability for rational thought. I was 14 yours old when it happened to me and I was so psychologically damaged that I told no one for many years. I was a young girl who was raped by a youth minister. He told me that Jesus wanted him to do those things to me. It screwed me up mentally.

I can only imagine what the abuse did to that young BOY! Can you imagine having to admit that you took it in the butt by some other guy? Can you even imagine the humiliation????

I think that guy showed great courage to step up and write an open letter! Those that judge him so harshly should look within themselves and ask why they don't feel pity and compassion for someone who was brutalized and humiliated during his formative and vulnerable youth! Many young boys have committed suicide rather than admit they were sexually abused!

I am thankful that the awareness of this issue is increasing. However, we, as a society, need to have more compassion for the victims!

I have three wonderful boys and we talk openly about child molesters and other perils of youth. I think it helps them to be discerning when they are out there in the world doing school activities, scouting, etc. Education is the key! And it seems like that guy is trying to do the right thing now and educating others in the process!

I don't mean to sound hard on the guy. I can understand why he might have been silent, for all the reasons mentioned.

Yes, he deserves all sympathy and compassion, but he's done nothing to be praised for, except get mentioned by other victims.
All he's done is confirm their testimony when confronted, and so he's then had to write an explanation to his church.

There's nothing wrong with that, but it's those other victims who really deserve praise since they are the ones who broke the silence.

This guy just happens to be a public figure and so gets the public attention.
The spotlight should really be on the other pastor who actually abused them, but anyway...

STOPPING LETTING THE MEDIA MAKE UP YOUR MINDS OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN TO USE. ITS SO PLAIN THAT THESE 3 ARE LIEING. THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED. INSTEAD OF ONLY HEARING WHAT THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO HERE TRY TO PRAY AND ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH. I DARE YOU TO TRY PRAYER INSTEAD OF THE MEDIA.

Anonymous "Caps lock-challenged" Christian interjected:

"[STOP] LETTING THE MEDIA MAKE UP YOUR MINDS OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN TO USE(?) [IT'S] SO PLAIN [TO SEE] THAT THESE 3 ARE [LYING]. THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED. INSTEAD OF ONLY HEARING WHAT THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO [HEAR] TRY TO PRAY AND ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH. I DARE YOU TO TRY PRAYER INSTEAD OF THE MEDIA."

First, whAT "GOD"? Huh?..whAT?...wHeRe??? Yoo hoo?

Secondly, "prayer"..i.e.."divine begging", is as useless as a one-legged man in a kicking contest.

On a closing note---no one is suggesting that ALL Christians are boisterous buffoons; but clearly, most religious people are ignorant.

"STOPPING LETTING THE MEDIA MAKE UP YOUR MINDS OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN TO USE. ITS SO PLAIN THAT THESE 3 ARE LIEING. THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED. INSTEAD OF ONLY HEARING WHAT THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO HERE TRY TO PRAY AND ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH. I DARE YOU TO TRY PRAYER INSTEAD OF THE MEDIA."

Caps lock-challenged, grammar- challenged, spelling-challenged, mentally-challenged, deranged, brainwashed............pitiful.

SEO,

Allow me to edit your comment.

" I don’t understand how Pastor Mike can praise a god.... "

That should do it!!

" Some of the responses are obviously written by people who have never suffered sexual abuse and may not understand how the victim thinks or feels. Please don't be so quick to judge this poor guy for keeping silent about his abuse."


I still think the letter written from that pastor doesn't explain his actions.

To me, the standard goes up for pastors. They should be trained to deal with abuse done to them and to others.

Pastors deal with people day in and day out and should take responsibility of their own emotional closet before choosing to help others.

His ignorance just exposes Christianity for claiming that by joining the religion people acquire a new life. It shows that church is an unsafe place for anybody, let alone vulnerable people.

I know many people who were sexually abused and I can understand their silence. I CANNOT understand the silence of a pastor. I will not forgive it. It is unacceptable.

This is ridiculous.This is disgusting. This is...unexpected. I have chosen to post anony, even though I have openly posted many times before. The reason for the secrecy is because I am explaining that I, too, was molested. I am a male, and I was molested by a female family member. I was around the age of 6 when it happened. My family was/is not religious, and I was never a True Christian. My parents had suspicions that something happened to me, and they sent me to counseling, constantly asked me if I had been hurt by someone. I repeatedly denied it until, the age of 16, I finally "realized" I had been molested.

Up to that point, I honestly did not know it. It just didn't click. If someone else had told me they went through the same thing, I would have immediately said "you were molested", but the memory of the event just didn't click with me as molestation. When I confronted my parents and the person who did this to me, well the reaction was similar to this forum. Accuse me of lieing, accuse me not acting sooner, and the bitch had the balls to deny it! I am a big guy, even at that age, I was bigger than my father. A powerful punch to his face and he hit the wall, then flat on the floor. A nice backhand to mom, and then...then a knife to the bitch that did this to me. Relax. It ended there. No one died, no more violence. She confessed.

I exploded in rage because, I felt like a complete victim, and people still seemed to find a way to blame me. Don't accuse the victim, don't accuse him of not having the "training" to handle this, don't accuse him of lying, don't say he should know better than to worship a god who would allow this. Get your heads out of your asses, do some research on the subject. This guy isn't acting much different than most victims.

Just to finish the story off. My family never again questioned me. Hell they don't even have the guts to look me in the eyes without squirming. I never got into drugs, never became an alcoholic, and other than a little anger problem, which I am in therapy for, I am just fine as an adult.

With all due respect for you pain, anonymous.

Were you a pastor? The point here is that pastor, a 30 something pastor who went to school to learn how to lead "the people of god" didn't know the MO of a child molester.

Don't pastors read the newspaper or watch the news?

Furthermore, pastors hear about abuse cases from the flock all the time. There is no way that one of those guys can plead ignorance.

We are talking about a grown up pastor, not a confused 16-year-old teenager.

The issue here is that the man was a pastor. We are not talking about any victim of abuse.

I still don't buy it from him. I buy it from you.

Also notice that he was abused as a teen. You were abused as a very young child.

But, if you tell me that you were a pastor, I may change my position.

And I know about abuse, alright. Three of my sisters were sexually abused. I know all about it.

But it isn't YOU were talking about here...keep that in mind.

Shame and Suicide
I ‘ve worked in many industries from blue collar factory’s to white collar suit and tie professional . I’ve lived in and visited many parts of the US and let me tell while there are millions of thoughtful kind workers there are also millions that would take any opportunity to humiliate and degrade a male that they knew was a victim of sexual abuse. Yeah MILLIONS. I’ve worked in more industries for more companies than anyone I know. Big corporations and “mom and pop” shops. I’ve been around. Maybe in the last few years the laws protecting someone from sexual harassment may have changed things but … but I just can’t imagine how hard it is for a man to know that an angry coworker could whip out a piece of your pain and stab you with it at a moments notice. Maybe it wouldn’t be every day, perhaps just when the man wouldn’t switch a shift or loan you a $20 or disagrees over how you handled a customer complaint. But you can bet that if they are upset enough, millions of Americans that usually think of themselves as mostly good guys/gals will pull out the sharpest knife they have (figuratively speaking) and stab their coworker with it. A man “letting” himself be the victim of sexual abuse is the coldest sharpest most jagged knife around.
Some of us took the pain of childhood and resolved to try to be considerate of other peoples feelings and especially as a Christian , a genuine sincere follower of Jesus, I knew to not judge or I’d face the same treatment myself. But not unlike children at school, many adults can just be mean if they don’t get their way.
Author John Bradshaw (Healing the Shame That Binds You) creates a distinction between feeling guilt and feeling shame. Guilt comes from “I DID something wrong”, shame is “I AM something wrong”, it is toxic and it cuts to the bone. Depending on the severity of what was done to you in childhood and how much love or support you had from family, it can have you waking up depressed or more than likely suicidal.
I met such a man once in a positive motivational seminar led by a man that wanted to be like Tony Robbins the famous motivational coach. An attendee there radiated suicidal shame. Just being around him you could feel the pain of his shame from across the room. That old line “I feel your pain” was real for every one around him , it haunted him every f’n minute of life, he could only hint to the cause but couldn’t actually say it because he couldn’t believe any living human being could have pity for such a wretch as he. I was taking this 3 day, mostly fun, positive seminar with about 200 others to unlock our potential, he was taking it in hopes of finding something to keep him from killing himself. His hint was that some man did something to him years ago but he couldn’t go any further. Even the “Tony Robbins wanna be” seminar leader couldn’t bring himself to push the man on the one thing that could have freed him. His every waking minute was emotional pain. I’ve never seen anything like it. Yet I’ve also met others who put on a happy face so that no one will suspect any shame is there. I bet they wake up depressed too although you’ll never know it by the smiles on their face.
Now back to Mike Lewis, a man who just took on the Church of God, a powerful machine with many passionate followers. I figure half will be compassionate and half will tell him to “just get over it”. Many will want him to shut up just like many people of an even more powerful world wide church did when their homosexual death cult was exposed . They’ll want him to focus on the good works of their church and they’ll worry more about the church’s reputation than the innocent souls destroyed by it.
Yeah so I’m going to say that to take on a powerful religious organization that buried sexual molestation is HEROIC. I’m saying it is COURAGEOUS, I’m saying very very few people would have the strength to endure what hell he is about to go through, because remember folks this is just the beginning of whole ‘nother painful chapter of his life. Or an amazing character builder. He really could have ducked this problem, laid low until the storm blew over. He is fortunate to have a loving family to provide emotional support but he is still a man against a machine.
Good luck Mike, sorry you got stuck with a desert tribal god that sucks. Me too man. And so did most of the people reading this website. Check out the videos on godisimaginary.com., biblicalnonsense.com ,and jesusneverexisted.com. . And thanks to the creators of those sites and exchristian.net for their courage.

Lorena,

I think your missing several points here and it seems you think that a pastor who wrote the letter is something greater than an ordinary human.

With all due respect, if you haven't been abused then you cannot fully understand what a victim goes thru. Moreover, You cannot understand what a MALE victim of sexual abuse goes thru. Sorry but there it is. Also victims can and often do deal with it differently.

For me, I twisted the guilt back on myself so I could forgive the abuser. I was taught to forgive when I was a christian. Can you now start to understand how warped the thinking of a victim can get under the strain of constant christian rhetoric? It really doesn't matter that the victim grew up and became a pastor. Being a pastor obviously doesn't make a person more resonable. In fact, I think it tends to make a person less resonable.

The media doesn't know of the fact that this alleged victim (Pastor Mike) wanted to take over the church that Sandy Cook was pastoring at. Sandy Cook didn't give it up for him. To me, if Sandy Cook were guilty, then the alleged victim could have used that as blackmail, but Sandy Cook still said no.

Just to make everyone here aware, this alleged victim (Pastor Mike Lewis) has made the news himself, quite a lot lately. The church that he now pastors (since he didn't get to take over Pastor Sandy Cook's church) has put up a controversial signboard, speaking from the perspective of Satan. The church is called New Life Center. Read all about it here:

http://www.wsaz.com/newswestvirginia/headlines/8916722.html

And here:

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/wva-billboard-declares-devils-hatred-for/n20070818130209990004?cid=936